Once You See It, You Can't Unsee It
Subtle ways diet culture and body talk shows up as normal conversation in my life
Talk of weight, body size, food shame, and diet culture is all around us at all times. In the spaces I show up in, I can’t help but be affected when something of the realm is mentioned and wonder why these themes are so baked into our norm. It’s disheartening to hear firsthand
My roommate and I were watching the new season of “Queer Eye” (which is obvi so good btw), and the “HipTip” at the end of one of the episodes was a nod to needing an accountabilibuddy because Karamo couldn’t control his junk food cravings and Tan saying something along the lines of “I don’t have a problem with junk food!” There are so many issues with this messaging.
Why?
A) it’s insinuating that people should watch how much junk food they eat
B) it’s outright vilifying junk food
C) it’s perpetuating tire diet culture narratives
This type of messaging, on places like national television, flies so under the radar, yet it’s so harmful.
I was in a fitting recently with a company I’ve just started fitting with, and one of the designers decided to make a comment about my body after another designer had spoken about how my bust was on spec for them and said: “So-and-so said you’re so fat!” This older man, with no room to comment about my body chose to chime in and attempt to make a “joke” about his company’s model’s body. It was one of those moments that stops you in your tracks, my jaw was on the metaphorical floor, and all I could think to do in that moment was make a weird pose because I felt so uncomfortable. I wish I could have garnered the words in that moment to shut him down.
But here’s where it gets tricky.
When on the job, especially as a freelancer/contractor, it becomes difficult to find the confidence to stand up for yourself or express your true feelings about certain things (ie. these comments) because I need work, and I want them to continue to call me back in so that I can continue to make money and pay my bills.
In my perfect world, I would be financially stable enough to not have to rely on these jobs to pay my bills and support my lifestyle. Then, and only then, would I feel comfortable enough to speak up. When we are in positions of desperation, it’s difficult to stand up for ourselves and make strides towards this type of change. It’s so much easier to just let the inappropriate comment slide in hopes of keeping the job than to say, “Hey, I dont feel comfortable with you talking about my body like that.”
These instances hit me hard because, while I’m so hyper-aware of this type of harmful language affects those who are struggling - with their body image, with an eating disorder, with body dysmorphia, with self-wroth. Whatever it may be, you never know what somebody else is going through, which is why it can be harmful to comment on people’s bodies in such ways.
It’s hard on the receiving end too - so hard that oftentimes I find myself not even able to express how certain comments make me feel when faced with them head on. This type of change is not the kind that happens over night (hello, “Queer Eye”).
So my question is how do we kindly shut this type of talk down without exiling the people perpetuating these tired narratives, while also protecting ourselves from being shut out of the spaces we are existing in?
This is the work.
This requires communication, compassion, and courage.
I think we, as a culture, need more education around why certain language and narratives are harmful.
I am committing to doing better - to vocalizing when I hear things that should not have been said, to educating myself as much as I possibly can, and to helping those around me to see why shifting these narratives is necessary.
xo
While I’m not a licensed therapist, registered dietician, or medical health professional and cannot speak to body image topics from a clinical, trauma-informed place, I am an expert of lived experience. I’m an academic of my own body, and I’m passionate about facilitating conversations with other humans about their relationships with their bodies. I believe it’s important to continue conversations about healthy body image in creative spaces as a means to heal individuals as well as the collective whole. But just know the information presented in this medium is not professional mental health advice or medical advice, and any questions or concerns you have should always be directed to your health providers.